neither looking forward nor looking back

It's been a grip!

First things first: I finished another dolly dressup video.  Here it is.


My dad is out of the hospital now. He was there for 12 days, most of which were spent on a ventilator in the CV ICU. Despite a rough transition home and some hard days and nights, he's on the road to recovery. He isn't able to speak above a whisper yet due to the ventilator messing up his throat, even though he's been off it for a few weeks now.

I'm grateful he's home and doing well. But I can't wait for this period of time in my life to be over. I'm so glad it's September. It won't feel like autumn where I live for another month, at least, but I am looking forward to it being autumn just to feel like this summer is in the past. I want to feel adjusted and like I have the mental room and physical energy for other things.

Yeah, it's been a rough time. But I have to end on a positive note. When I journal, I dump out all the negative things first, then finish off an entry with a list of positive things, no matter how small and inconsequential they may be in comparison to the negative things. It helps to remember things aren't all bad. My therapist has asked me to keep a journal of positive things, and I'm like, "I'm way ahead of you. I already do this."

  • my cat was being super cute yesterday
  • clean bedsheets!
  • fresh haircut/bleach = fresh pink
  • crocheted a deer hat while listening to one of my favorite podcasts, and man, it was pleasant!! I wanna do it again! Maybe even today!
  • visited with my friend and his wife
  • don't make fun of me, but... the only celeb I remotely care about dropped the name of his Snapchat and has been blessing me with ridiculous selfies and videos!!! 

It really, truly is the small things in life.

4 comments:

  1. The small things make such a difference! I have a tendency to get hung up on the things I don't want to do and then feel like they're taking up all the space, crowding out any room for things I do want to do. This is so not true, though, it's just my brain being unproductive. I love your idea of making a list of positive things, no matter how small - I am going to steal it!

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  2. Missed your videos! I'm sending positive fall vibes to you!

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  3. Sometimes I wish there was a way to give back all the wonderful relaxed times that I get from watching your videos. I hope things are better now, for your father and for you too.

    And you are absolutely right: it is all about the small things in life.

    P.s.: I think I need a 'Petaline' in my life too. She's beautiful!

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