somewhere deep inside of these bones

What? I can't believe October is over. :( I was looking forward to this month for ages, and it has drained away from under my feet so fast.

I spent most of the month writing. Joy! Joy! Joy!!! Writing is the thing I treasure the most in my life. I would choose it over every other hobby I have. But it also the most difficult hobby I pursue, and the most touch and go even when I am at my best. I haven't written in over a year, and not seriously in a couple of years. So I'm shocked that I've been managing some hardcore writing when my state of mind feels so diminished and my energy levels at an all-time low and have just been limping through everything in life. In some way, it is like a safety net that has caught me at the bottom of this months-long freefall, I think. Or maybe it's like one sense growing stronger when all the other ones have been lost.

After thirty days of this business, my brain feels like a stripped tire. A scooped melon. A mere husk. This is pretty normal around the 30k words mark for me. I've taken a couple of days off here at the tail end of October in the hopes I can recharge a bit, because in November, I'm participating in a writing challenge on Habitica alongside my party, some of whom are writing for NaNoWriMo. I'm not doing NaNoWriMo myself, but a daily goal is very helpful for me at this point in my story.

Realizing that my ability to write will eventually click away again, as per usual, is excruciatingly sad a thought for me right now, but I'm grateful that I wrote even once this month, let alone so many days in a row with such dedication and concentration. It is a gift that I have been treasuring.

This month, I have also a) temporarily joined my mother's church choir because they are singing for an Evensong service "Cantique de Jean Racine," which I sang in high school and still know, and b) taken a knitting lesson. Still rubbish at knitting. Still barely an alto.

Anyway, here's a picture of Drew.


Drew has been wearing this little periwinkle-ish number Anne made me for a few weeks, and I made this hat in August, or something like that. All this purple is quite unusual for any of my girls to be decked out in!

When I took her outside earlier, I saw that her RIT-dyed hair is starting to really fade a lot. I think I may contact the woman who customized her (who lives in the same city as me! Last I checked, anyway) to get it fixed, because I don't know that I feel up to re-dyeing it myself. But it will have to wait till 2017, I think. I already know my budget is going to be tight as can be this holiday season.

Now I'm going to spend the remainder of my Halloween evening by singing "Jack's Lament," finishing this hat, and perhaps watching some Supernatural.

dreams


Today I made a dream catcher. I was compiling a digital mood board and came across a pretty image from Etsy, and then ten hours of image browsing, YouTubing, experimenting with making the web portion, craft store running, and decorating ensued. A pretty good morning, really.

(Oh, here are my pink walls; I painted them back in early June. I don't really know how accurate this color is showing up in photos. The walls are extremely light in real life. They almost look beige. But as always, my room has zero natural light.)


Dream catchers where the web runs the full circle are pretty, too, and I will probably make one, but I particularly looked for crescent moon-shaped dream catchers and wanted to make one of those, specifically. Blame my nearly year-long witchy mood, but I'm very into celestial anything.

This white one is a Venn diagram of mori (linen and lace, at least, make me think mori, but also, I crocheted the hearts), #aesthetic gold notes, and maybe new agey by default.


And of course:

90s Teen Witch Part 2

Happy October. I can't believe we're almost halfway though it! Stop going by so quickly, October!

I'm finally starting to limp into recovering from my #cruelcruelsummer. I couldn't wait for the weather to be cooler, for it to seem like fall, just so I could feel like summer was over with. Now here we are, in spoop season, and I want the days to slow down so I can soak in the chill and not have holidays looming.

The other day I got this cute romper from the sale rack at Target. I didn't realize it was a romper until I was trying it on, but I still liked the top enough to get it; I figure I will wear it with a black skater skirt I have, because I need more volume on bottom than this offers. But it spoke to my witchy feels! And I thought wearing it with a choker would treat me just right. I got this one today. (I love that chokers are "in" right now!! Thank you, 20-year fashion cycle! I'm just going to go ahead and say that, yes, I'm still deep, deep in the 90s Teen Witch aesthetic that I posted about here.)


Looking at chokers, I was reminded of my favorite autumnal movie, Sleepy Hollow (which I can't watch this year due to Johnny Depp; it will take me some time to separate the art from the artist. Such a freaking bummer!!) because in it, Christina Ricci has this necklace I'm obsessed with.


It's not a choker, per se, but it is a short necklace with a star-shaped charm that she wears throughout the movie on different ribbons. Ob-sessed with Christina in this movie. Her fantastic costumes, her thick blonde hair, her bleached eyebrows. While I was looking at chokers, I kept thinking, "Oh, that's Katrina-esque. I want it because it's Katrina-esque, but I know it wouldn't look good on me." So I did the next best thing and found them online so I could compile this little post.

( one, two, three, four )

If I were better at Polyvore (is that still a thing?) you can bet I'd be compiling modern day Katrina van Tassel fashion boards.

In doll news, I am going to film a little haul sometime soon. I really wish I could film an autumny dolly dressup with Gavin; we'll see if I can manage to do both. Gavin's so hard to dress, yo!!