aunt lyfe

Sunday, September 1, 2024

August was quite the month for my family! A lot going on (weddings! new houses!), but I want to post specifically about my brand new nephew, especially because I feel very aware that I am experiencing some of the best days of my life thus far. It is so nice to know those moments as they happen, instead of missing them belatedly.

Nephew was born just before midnight on August 8th, and we (my mom, my brother-in-law's moms, and me) got to see him at about 3 AM on the 9th, after hours of waiting antsily at the hospital for him to arrive, and further hours of baby and parents having crucial bonding time. Getting to see him was so incredibly special to me.

I am nine years older than my baby sister -- almost ten -- so I have extremely clear memories of seeing her after she was born. I remember the hospital room; I remember holding her; I remember that I insisted upon staying at the hospital with my mom for most of that day, rather than let my dad take me home. I was enchanted by my baby sister. I held her tons. As she grew up, I baby-sat and minded and played with her a lot. After I started driving, I picked her up from elementary school every day. When she was in high school I took her to school and picked her up from school frequently. I felt like she was my baby!

That's us! This was taken in early May of 1997, when she was 5 and I was 14.

As she's grown older, graduated from college, gotten married, and now, had a baby, my heart still pangs: my baby!

So it was, for me, such an emotional full circle moment. Seeing sis in the hospital when she was born. Seeing sis in the hospital when her own baby was born. I had deja vu. I reminisced about it... to her... while she was lying in bed having just given birth! Haha. But in all sincerity, getting to peer at her baby's beautiful face for the first time, and getting to tell my sister that I loved her and am proud of her, and getting to see my mom and my sister's mother-in-laws see their grandbaby for the first time, all in the middle of the night... Ah. It was so peaceful, even when Nephew let out a screamy squeal (just once). Everyone was shedding happy tears. It felt like a sacred space. I am so glad to have had this experience. I left the hospital immediately knowing I had just had one of the best moments of my life.

And of course, I had zilch to do with this baby or his birth! That was all my goddess of a little sister, who was so tired she was falling asleep in the bed as we all admired Nephew in his bassinet. She'd given it her all and wouldn't get much sleep in general. Regardless she was beatific and beautiful. My heart bursts thinking about her. Of course my Nephew is great fun to admire and dote on. But I just feel so proud of my baby sister. I still count it as one of my favorite moments I've ever experienced.

Getting to hold him for the first time after he came home from the hospital... I was floating on air for hours! Starkly reminded of how I refused to go home after getting to hold my baby sister. The only reason I let anyone else hold him was because my elbow got tired!

But the very best has been getting to see my grandmother meet him for the first time! Her first great grandchild! It was the very best to watch her hold him, and to sit with my sis, my brother-in-law, and my parents, hanging out and taking turns holding the baby. I got to feed him and hold him for two hours. The vibes were so excellent. The sunset, golden. Sister, beautiful, glowing. The baby, content to sleep in our arms. I am really living my best life whenever I get to hold that baby. Like at the hospital, I knew I had just had one of the best days of my life. I will literally remember it forever. In the future I will reminisce with my family: Remember the day Grandma met Nephew? Remember how she held him? Remember how Mom used to hold him and stroke his tiny baby temples with her thumbs? Remember how gently Sister touched his head? Remember how Brother-in-law poked his belly and then said, for Nephew, "Daddy's buggin' me! Mean old Dad!" Remember his cute stripey pants? Remember how conked out he was?

Last night I got to feed Nephew and sit with him for hours again. Sis and Bro-in-law left him with me while they ran an errand. My first nephew-sitting gig! I was in bliss, patting his little back while he snoozed. Crazy to think that in just a week, he'll be a month old.

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baby sister's baby blanket

Sunday, July 14, 2024

Big news: my baby sister's expecting!!!

Well, it's old news around here. Big news! But my family's known since Christmas Eve, very very early on in her pregnancy, and we're only about a month out from the due date now. I haven't said anything because it ain't really my news, and I live in fear of stepping on toes or stealing thunder or something. But it's tremendously exciting because it's the first grandchild for my parents. And of course, my first little niece or nephew! (In this case, it happens to be a nephew!)

You know I went into baby blanket mode this spring, with the fave ol' ripple pattern!

The colors were inspired by my sister's pregnancy announcement -- there was a cute jungle animal print with blue, green, and orange.

This was my first time putting a border on a ripple blanket, and I really like how it turned out! I decided to only do the sides instead of a full border. I imagine next time I do a ripple I'll try out a full border, which means compensating for the ripple on either end. I'm sure I can do it, but... baby steps! Right, my quickly arriving nephew?

Anyway, the border's just treble crochet! I like the way they worked out because they look chonky but are decidedly not frilly or fussy.

Last summer I joined a knitting club (I don't think I've mentioned... it's just me, my mom, and some little old ladies at my mom's church) and I worked on this blanket during many a knitting club meeting. Another woman in the club also crocheted a blanket for my sister, or I might have made another one, myself. But I thought there might be such a thing as too many crochet blankets for an infant. I guess. Her blanket was pastel yellow, so at least they have super different vibes.

My sister's baby shower was today, so now I'm in the clear to post these pics without her seeing! (She follows this blog!)

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doll stuff haul video

Tuesday, June 4, 2024

Hello! Been working on a doll stuff haul video these past few days! Amongst some stuff I've blogged about here already (like these benches and my beret obsession) are some new items like this yellow knit beret and these green daisy applique bellbottoms!

I really do try to keep it posi here, but CURRENTLY, I am so sick of my face/voice/personality/everything that I wanna barf. I almost trashed the footage for this video because I felt so awful about myself. Eventually I got over it and decided to just soldier on, because I had been waiting and wanting to film it for weeks. By the time I was done editing it and doing the subtitles for it and got it all thumbnailed and posted, I could not make myself post about it to Instagram. I almost didn't, but forced myself to do that, too. And now I am forcing myself to blog about it. What am I gonna do, spend days making this and then not post about it?

In therapy a few years ago I hit upon the idea of neutrality, especially with regards to myself. I can't do self-love or self-positivity. To me it's nothing short of delusional. But, what I can do is say, "While I'm not the best, I'm also not the worst." So right now I'm telling myself, I'm surely not the most irritating person on YouTube.

OR AM I?? Bonus Litten pic:

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