I decided to do it.
I decided to make more dolly dressup videos.
Since my last dressup video in April 2017, I'd thrown away the old wobbly desk I used to use for dressups. I'd broken one of my three filming lights. I barely touched my camera. I think I even switched to a new desktop computer.
It was sort of a journey, just prepping to do this. Finding a place to film. Fixing my broken filming light (by hand!). Getting out all my old doll "set" stuff. Cleaning the wicker pieces with q-tips. Getting my filming equipment together. Re-learning how to use my tripod...
Filming was also just a long process of thinking, "How did I do this...?"
You have no idea how arduous filming a dressup can be. My arms are unnaturally outstretched because the tripod is in front of half of me. Like, one knee is INSIDE THE TRIPOD. If I bump the tripod by moving too much, I have to either do something again or cut around the footage somehow. I am looking through the viewfinder of the camera the entire time because I can't see the doll or the clothes due to the angle in which I'm holding her. My camera does not have autofocus for video, so I'm manually focusing it the entire time.
(That doesn't even touch the post-production stuff -- editing, et cetera. That's hours of work.)
However, towards the end of the dressup, I started experiencing some...
I felt legitimately pleased with the outfit and was so enjoying just looking at Mallow, and I really remembered why I have loved Blythe for so long now.
So... I am actually working on another dressup video. I'm also planning on making an Etsy shop update. (When I tell you I've made a bunch of these headbands, I'm serious.) But I've decided that I need to engage with Blythe hobby stuff differently than I was engaging with it five years ago.
My mental health is different. YouTube itself is different. 2020 certainly hits different.
I haven't drawn up a contract with myself or anything, but I'm going to try just doing what I want to do, when I want to do it. I'm going to try not to worry about what other people think of anything -- my hands, my voice. I'm not going to do requests. I'm not going to make informational or tutorial videos. Set boundaries. You know??
Do it for the serotonin!