I'm sooo thirsty for autumn at this point, but it's been about 100 degrees here every day for what feels like an eternity. I've been wanting to transition into more autumnal dressing, but alas for me, that's not really in my future quite yet. I've been coping and successfully achieving some fall feels by getting extremely into BURGUNDY! I've been able to incorporate burgundy, or fig, or marsala, or anything in that zone, into some makup looks, at the very least. And also I've really scratched the itch with a couple of inexpensive items such as a wine red phone case and this extremely cute cable knit patterned soup mug. Eating noodles out of the soup mug has really made me ascend lately!!! I can't even tell you how much this small thing has given me heroic doses of serotonin...
I try to be a good blogger and list where I've gotten things I post about, if possible. Many of the things here, I've had for a while -- like the eyehsadow single and the gel pen and the nail polish. But here you go! A list of links, if you want!
- soup mug
- Zebra Sarasa gel pen
- phone case (looks like the dark red is sold out)
- Colourpop The Scorpio eyeshadow single (no longer made I think, it's from 2019)
- Sally Hansen Insta-Dry polish in Go Garnet
- Elf Sheer Slick lipstick in Black Cherry
(Also I got the little gold star studs from here.)
Okay, let me quickly talk makeup, because for whatever reason I am kind of into it lately.
Never in my ENTIRE life have I been a lipstick girlie. It's lip balm, strictly. Vegan lip balm specifically, because I'm allergic to beeswax. I don't like lip color on me. It draws attention to the thinness of my lips. My teeth are very awkward and ugly and I feel like putting color on my lips also draws attention to my effed up teeth. But also I have always felt like it looks really strange on me. I recall as a child doing a cute Glamour Shots session with my best friend (I'm SO sure all y'all are of the age where you remember GLAMOUR SHOTS) and the makeup artist put some lipstick on me, of course. I remember freezing in the seat, staring at myself in the mirror, and being intensely uncomfortable with the lipstick. I think I must have somehow expressed my discomfort or dislike of the color or something, because I remember the artist wiped it off and put on a different color for me. Maybe something more neutral? I don't know. Anyway, all this ot say: NOT A LIPSTICK GIRLIE!
Regardless, quite a few years ago at this point I got some quite dark lipstick -- nothing too pinky or red-toned -- as well as some matching lip liner (because my lipline bleeds very badly). I tried it on once and felt like, "Ahhh right, I can't wear lipstick actually..." But it was, you know, a discovery mission, haha! To see if I could do a really dark lip. Sometimes I just see other people rocking a specific lip and feel really jealous, you know?
BUT! Of late I have been attempting to do some exposure therapy with lip color. Aside from a few tinted lip balms this dark lipstick is the only lipstick/actual lip color I own, so I have been putting it on here and there to try and adjust to the sight of myself in it. I am mostly doing this when I don't have to leave the house, or for an hour or so before I take a shower
(I feel very vulnerable sharing these selfies, but I'm TRIYNG to get it together, man!)
The thing about this is that a) I like it; b) I feel extremely extremely self-conscious, like "who does she think she is!" in a way; c) this for me is insta-goth. Not Instagram goth, but like, putting this lip on transforms me instantly into a goth due to my general hair/skin color combination. (I am a winter.) I also felt like indigo hair streaks turned me singlehandedly goth, back when I had those. Like I had no choice at all, haha. I just looked like an off-duty goth. A pajama goth, if you will.
Now, actually, I think goth is a very attractive and romantic style!! I love it! It can be so pretty and have that old-fashioned look that I love, or so punky. Maybe when it's actually cool outside I will wear some black outfits that gently trend goth and I can fully explore the dark lipped look and break out my little choker collection. Maybe toss on my dark red beret. I would be doing that RIGHT NOW if it wasn't hot as blue blazes out here.
Generally I avoid the winter palette and dress out of my season. Winter's deep jewel toned palettes mostly don't feel like "me." I feel a little like purposefully dressing in even a lightly goth style misrepresents me in some fundamental way. Poser material, you know?
But, I'm trying to go out of my comfort zone with the dark lip, so it might be really fun to do that with my style too. Just leeeeean into it, see what it's like.
I recently placed a small makeup order from Ulta with a dark (but not quite THIS dark) lipstick shade and this Elf black honey dupe listed above, so I can try and expand my range of possible lip colors. I got a lipliner that closely matches my lip color so I can maybe experiment with some of my mostly-ignored tinted balms some more.
Anyway, this is what's helping me hang in there lately!
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